Thursday, August 13, 2009

.Momma says knock you out!

Around and around my life over the last twelve years has been a battle of constant loss and set backs. Feeling so defeated by my inability to control my weight and my decision making process when it comes to food, I believe drastic times call for drastic measures. In a family that has a long history of diabetes, heart failure, and overall morbid obesity, it is time to change. Not only for my dreams and ambitions to be fulfilled but so that my children have the opportunity to learn what a healthy relationship with food should be. So I am ending a year and a half long journey at this point of deciding whether or not to have gastric bypass. I decided about six months ago that God would be okay with this decision and that He would work through this decision. I am not taking the easy way out. I know the difficulty of the surgery prep and recover times as well as the emotional aspects of this part of my journey and I am saying "Satan has no power over me!" Freedom is around the corner and I delight in knowing that during this part of my journey I have a peace and a HOPE. I love that word. HOPE. It does so much for your psyche. Just knowing that my surgery is around the corner has brought back a spark. My parents used to coach me for dance competitions when I was younger, and they would ask if I had the "Eye of the Tiger" referencing the Rocky movie with Mr. T. I haven't felt ready to take on a battle in a long time, and even now at 3 am in the morning I am ready to fight. Hope of success, Hope of Life, Hope of seeing my great grandchildren, HOPE gives me thats spark I needed to redifine my weight loss goals and include surgery.
God Bless my Husband who has watched the woman that he loves stand in a boxing ring and throw all her energy at beating herself up. Now the mitts go on and the enemy goes down. I will battle with the Weight monster and I will knock him out with my right and left puches of HOPE!